The Sweetest Reward
by rsb57
Summary: During Sweet Revenge. My version of how both are affected by the devastating attack on Starsky.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any part of Starsky and Hutch franchise. The following is for entertainment only.

**FYI**: I hope no one is tired of Sweet Revenge Stories! This story has been rolling around in my head for a long time and has begged to be let out.

I want to thank all of you who read my stories and take the time to review. You have been kind and encouraging. I consider all who read even one of my stories to be a friend.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH

The newest patient to Memorial Hospital already had a reputation. He was the victim of a horrible automatic weapons attack. The E.R. took action as the still body was pushed into the exam room. The doctors did everything they could to stabilize Detective Starsky so they could get him into surgery. His blood pressure was almost non existent and his breathing had that deathly rattle. Then there was all the blood. It kept seeping out of Starsky, staining anything it came into contact with.

The team surrounding Starsky was intent on determining his injuries and gave no notice to the big blond man who had followed the gurney into the exam room. A nurse was off to the side of the action, waiting for her orders involving the man on the bed. When she saw Hutch trying to squeeze in between the group of doctors and nurses, she decided he needed her more than the doctors did at the moment. She had no intention of forcing him out of the room, but she had to get him to back off from his friend.

Connie slid past the E.R. doctor who was examining the figure on the bed. He called out positions of the bullet holes and helped roll Starsky over looking for other wounds. Someone else was cutting away his clothes, dropping the remnants of his shirt and pants on the floor and kicking them out of the way.

She reached Hutch and firmly took his arms and pushed him out of the way. He allowed himself to be backed up toward the other end of the room. He never took his eyes off Starsky. He had blood on his hands, his shirt and his pants. She wasn't sure if the blood covering this man was his friend's or if the blond had been struck as well.

Connie quickly ran her hands over Hutch to check for bullet wounds. Hutch stood statue like as Connie asked him repeatedly if he was hurt.

"Sir, let the doctors help your friend. Are you hurt? Sir, can you hear me?"

Hutch only blinked and continued his catatonic stare at the madness in front of him. He didn't feel the hands pushing him onto a gurney. He couldn't take his eyes away from the frightening scene playing out in front of him. He was mesmerized by the frenzy of nurses and doctors working over Starsky and didn't notice Connie wipe his face or remove his shirt as she continued her search for any injuries.

Finally, he became aware of his position on the gurney and swiped at the hands ministering to him.

"No, just leave me alone. Help him, don't let him die!"

He tried moving past the nurses who grasped his shoulders. He was helpless against their hold on him. His arms outstretched toward Starsky. He had to let Starsky know he was there.

"Starsky, I'm here. Don't give up. Starsk, you gotta fight this!"

Orders and results flew back and forth between the nurses and doctors as they tried to coordinate the care of their patient. Blood pressure and oxygen levels were called out repeatedly while another doctor kept his stethoscope pressed to Starsky's chest.

Finally satisfied that everything was stable for the moment and anxious to get Starsky to the next level of care, the admitting doctor raised his voice which caused a drop in activity but attention remained on their patient.

"Get this man to the O.R.--NOW!-- There is no time to waste! He's stable enough to move but I can't be sure what will happen once he's in the surgeon's hands."

This statement caused another flurry of activity as machines and IV solutions were tucked in and around the extremely pale patient.

Not understanding what was going on, Hutch stood up in a daze and pleaded to anyone who would listen.

"Please, don't give up! Just give him more time. Help him!!"

Connie stepped in front of the distraught man and took his hands in hers. She tried to get through to Hutch.

"Sir, no one is giving up on your friend. They've got to get him to surgery as fast as possible. But you have to let us help you now. What's your name? Sir, look at me!"

Connie reached up and took his face in her hands and forced his head down so that he was focusing on her. The blue eyes that stared back at Connie were full of grief and watery with tears.

"Th--That's St--Starsky, David Starsky. Hutchinson. I'm Ken Hu--tch--inson."

As Starsky was briskly wheeled from the room the acivity and trauma Hutch had just witnessed overtook him and he sank bonelessly to the floor.

Now it was his turn to be surrounded by the doctor and nurses. They got him up and moved him to a gurney. Connie had determined earlier that he was not injured. All the blood belonged to Starsky. But Hutch was in shock and when he opened his eyes, they were fogged over with confusion.

No sooner had his eyes opened than he started shaking. His hair vibrated with the quivering and his nose ran. His hands were cold. He was so cold.

Captain Dobey finally made his way into the exam room fully expecting to see Starsky still being worked on. Instead Hutch was laying on a bed, shaking and pale.

"I'm Captain Dobey. This is my detective Ken Hutchinson. Where's David Starsky? Please-- he's not dead?"

Connie looked up into the dark brown eyes and reached out to comfort the big man in front of her.

"David is in surgery. The internal injuries are severe and his chest, back and left arm received massave damage. But Ken is okay. He's in shock which is not surprising after all he has witnessed. We'll just give him fluids through an I.V. and in a few minutes,-- well, I can't say he'll be fine but his body will have recovered from the trauma he has just encountered."

Dobey reached down and patted Hutch's leg. That slight touch focused Hutch and he turned toward his captain, seeking solace.

"I'm cold-- please, I'm cold" Hutch's voice shook as he curled into himself, craving comfort and warmth.

Connie brought a heated blanket and covered Hutch. He slowly was able to focus on Captain Dobey and tried to recall the nurse's name.

"It's okay, my name is Connie. You'll be okay in a little bit. You just had a bad reaction to everything. Just lay there a little longer and then you can get up." Connie, reached for Hutch's wrist to check his pulse before she completely tucked the blanket in around him.

Captain Dobey gulped as he looked around the room. It was a mess of blood, discarded instruments and tape. The remnants of Starsky's clothes were scattered on the floor.

His eyes landed on a brown crumpled heap in another corner of the room. Unlike the other pieces of clothing, it had escaped the scissors which had sliced through Starsky's clothes.

"Sweet Jesus", Dobey exclaimed, as he recognized Starsky's beloved leather jacket. Now it was just a brown and red object with holes.

He crossed the room to pick up the jacket. It was streaked with blood and bullet holes decorated the front and back. He turned back to Hutch and saw that his shaking had stopped.

"Hutch- you okay now? Just be still a little longer." Dobey felt uneasy and was unsure how to comfort the man in front of him.

Hutch turned his head toward his captain's voice and opened his eyes. He immediately focused on the jacket the black man had in his hands.

"Starsky's jacket!" Slipping the blanket off his torso, Hutch reached out to grab the jacket. He held it to him and the tears started again. Hutch did nothing to stop their flow or apologize for the outburst.

He thought how strange it was that the jacket could still feel so soft and smell like Starsky when it was streaked with blood and torn up by the bullet holes.

----------

Several hours later and Starsky was still in surgery. Hutch had recovered and his bloody clothes were replaced with hospital scrubs. Connie had taken good care of Hutch and Dobey, allowing them to stay in the doctor's lounge where they could stretch out on the cots and wait for news of their friend.

Hutch still felt weak and shaky but he forced himself to make the phone calls which he couldn't put off any longer.

He called Starsky's mom first. The news did not at first sink in about how badly David was hurt. But slowly the reality of what Hutch told Rachel washed over her. She became practicle and strong wanting to provide Hutch with as much support as he was lending to her.

Hutch suggested that she wait a few days before coming out to Bay City. He knew she wanted to be with her son but maybe it would be better for her to wait until he was stabilized. She quietly agreed but made Hutch promise to call her at least twice a day with updates. When he got into a room, she wanted her son's phone number.

He hung up after she tried to reassure both of them that David would be alright. He was strong and stubborn and those qualities would carry him through the next few days.

Next he called Huggy. The skinny bar owner had already heard about it on the news. Hutch told him that both he and Starsky needed him.

"You gotta ask, brother? I'm already on my way. Hutch, do ya need anythin?", Huggy couldn't think of anything to say, but he felt the need to do something.

"Huggy, could you go by my place and bring me some clothes? I kinda lost mine. They got--- shit, I'll never be able to wear that shirt again!" Hutch's voice cracked as he thought about all the blood.

"No problem, my man. Never fear, Hug is here. Just don't give it another thought. I'm on my way"

The room grew silent as the two men waited for news. Dobey sat on one of the chairs. His hands were folded across his chest and his eyes closed. He had called Edith but suggested she not come yet. There was nothing to do but wait. Captain Dobey would do the waiting at the hospital while they both offered prayers for David's survival.

Hutch alternately paced around the room and sat back down on a cot. He sat for maybe a minute then got up and paced again. He went out in the hall and walked up and down, looking for Connie but she was busy in another room.

About an hour later, Hutch was pacing the hall again when he saw Connie and a doctor heading toward him. His stomach flip flopped and his hands grew clammy as he waited for the pair to join him and Dobey in the lounge.

"Ken, Captain-- I'm Dr. Greg Sheffield. I am David's surgeon. All I can say at this point is, he survived the surgery. I don't know how. There was so much damage and there will be more surgeries but for now, he's in ICU."

"Thanks-- Can I see him, please?" Hutch pleaded with the tired doctor in front of him.

Dr. Sheffield evaluated the exhausted, washed out face. Hutch was still pale from his reaction to David's trauma but Hutch's eyes were clear and seeking approval. The doctor reached out a comforting hand and rested it on the man's shoulder.

"Yes I think it would be good for both of you. He's on a respirator and in a coma. Just to warn you, there are a lot of tubes, IV's and machines working to keep him alive. I'm not going to lie to you. He's facing a huge challenge. But I believe that having friends and family around will be very important to pull him back from that coma."

Hutch reached out to shake Dr. Sheffield's hand and moved off in search of Starsky.

"That man made quite an impression on the nursing staff in the E.R. earlier. It's obvious he and David are good friends and that's what David will need in order to overcome this trauma."

"Yes, they are very close. I just hope it's enough to sustain Hutch while David is so ill. David will be well supported but primarily I'm worried about Hutch now. He doesn't always look after himself if Starsky is injured or sick.---- Well, if you'll excuse me I need to check on my men."

Dobey shuffled down the hall in search of Hutch.

And now the waiting begins.


	2. Chapter 2

David Starsky was a Bay City police detective who 3 weeks ago had found himself on the wrong side of a senseless attack of gun fire. For three weeks it was not certain he would even live from hour to hour. There was extensive internal damage to his lungs, belly and liver. His chest, left shoulder, arm and back were also torn up because of the trauma. The first of many surgeries focused on the repair of his liver and required part of the left lung to be cut away. His spleen was removed as was his appendix. During surgery blood was transfused into him as fast as possible but his blood count kept dropping as did his blood pressure. Doctors were kept busy trying to keep his organs from shutting down.

Two days after the initial trauma, he went into cardiac arrest. The group of doctors and nurses worked to get his heart beating. When the CPR wasn't helping, then the electrodes were placed and three times jolts of electricity reached his heart until the last time the energy coursed through his system and recharged the heart into action.

After that he seemed to level off. The respirator still moved his chest up and down to keep his breathing steady. There were so many wires, tubes and IV's surrounding him that the blond man had to snake a hand through them all just to touch his friend.

There were no more downward spirals. He remained in the coma and the machines kept his lungs functioning. The I.V. tubing leading in and out of Starsky's body provided nourishment and hydration. There were several different antibiotics to fight infections. He had a catheter to drain his kidneys and a drain leading from his chest to remove unwanted fluids.

Rachel Starsky had decided not to come until there was some improvement in her son. She was torn with wanting to be there immediately but felt she would be of more help when her son regained consciousness. There was no doubt in her mind that David would recover. He was young and resilient but would need his mother when he started to mend. It was not a decision she made lightly.

She called David's room several times a day and either talked to Hutch or Captain Dobey. She always asked for them to put the phone to David's ear and she would whisper encouraging words to her son.

The respirator continued it's constant whooshing and Starsky's chest moved up and down in rhythm to the machine. For three weeks there had not been any change.

One evening after a long and depressing day, Hutch sat by Starsky's bed. A week ago a nurse had pushed in a recliner for Hutch to use. It was obvious he wasn't going anywhere and she felt so sorry for the blond.

Hutch continued his vigil beside the dark haired man. He had gone home for a few hours and brought back his guitar. Now he sat picking out a tune, quietly playing and watching.

He stopped and leaned closer into Starsky. He stood up and bent even closer until he was nose to nose with the still figure of his friend.

A single tear was slowly making a path down the side of Starsky's face. Hutch wiped it away only to see it replaced by another.

Hovering over his friend, Hutch wanted so badly to have those sapphire eyes look into his blue ones. But there was no crinkling to suggest eye movement under the closed lids. The long dark, lashes still rested on the the ashy face.

There was no other indication of movement or awareness, just a slow line of tears making a steady trail down his face.

"It's okay, Starsky. It's Hutch. I'm right here. I know you're scared."

Hutch grabbed Starsky's hand and simultaneously pushed the call button for the nurse.

"Starsky, if you hear me, squeeze my hand. Feel it?, feel my hand in yours? C'mon and squeeze."

The night nurse hurried in when the number 147 lit up on her call box. It was the first time that particular button had done so.

As Pam swept into the room, Hutch continued holding the lax hand.

Hutch turned his head long enough to acknowledge he had seen Pam enter and filled her in on the tears.

"He just started crying. Does that mean he's gonna come around soon? I'm trying to get him to squeeze my hand."

"There! He did it! Not very hard but a definate pressure. Here, you try!" Hutch was so excited he let go of Starsky's hand and reached out for Pam's, pulling her closer to the bed.

"David, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand, go on-- try David."

Pam turned to Hutch and her brown eyes grew wide with delight.

"He did it, not very hard, but yes he squeezed my hand too.! I'm going to page Dr. Sheffield right away."

She practically ran out of the room to page the doctor and when he responded a few minutes later, she was happy to share the first bit of good news about their patient in room 147.

Hutch stayed out of the way as Dr. Sheffield checked Starky's vital signs and tested him for pain response, but the earlier physical reactions did not appear again.

The tears had dried up and no amount of encouragement from Hutch could make the limp hand he held flex with movement again.

But something had caused the doctor to be optimistic enough to continue to examine Starsky. He studied the noises, clicks and readings from the machines surrounding Starsky. According to the doctor, the numbers were all encouraging.

"Hutch, I think-- Yes there it is! I can hear a difference in how the respirator is functioning. For every 5 beats that the respirator pushes his lungs into responding, David takes one breath on his own! There is a slight difference in the noise of the machine."

Dr. Sheffield was very encouraged by what he had discovered. He tried to share his enthusiasm but all Hutch understood was the phrase-- 'one breath on his own'---.


	3. Chapter 3

Pam and Sheila were Starsky's primary nurses. One of them was always with Starsky and were very compassionate and gentle.

One morning Pam walked into Starsky's room to begin the routine of taking care of her patient. She would bathe him, change his sheets, change the dressings, replace the IV's and empty and drain the various catheters and tubes that were connected to the dark haired man.

She was very attentive to her tasks but also wanted to know about her patient. She questioned Hutch, curious about the man in front of her.

"Hutch, what can you tell me about David? I already know he's stubborn, strong willed and a fighter. For him to have survived this long is a good sign and he'll need all the mental energy he has to overcome this accident."

Hutch put aside the paper he had been reading and watched as Pam continued her duties.

"Pam,-- Starsky is very strong. He's already been through some heavy stuff in his life. But he also has a child like curiosity about him. He loves to have a good time. But he is also responsible and serious about being a good police detective. He doesn't give up on anything easily."

Pam rolled David over on his side as she changed the dressing and checked the wounds on his back.

_**"David, roll over for me. I just need to poke a bit---sorry."**_

Pam continued her exam as she went on with her conversation with Hutch.

"Well, he's going to be in a lot of pain and have a huge struggle to regain his life when he wakes up. He'll need all of those qualities he has and all his friends to pull him through this."

Hutch watched Pam as she gently cared for Starsky and offerd Pam more insight on her patient.

"Starsky and I have been through a lot together and I'm not gonna abandon him now. But I do need to warn you, he is a big flirt! Once he flashes that smile of his at you and includes a wink, I'm told most women just melt! He's also very independent. I do know that not being able to manage things on his own is going to be the biggest obstacle for him. But I've seen him in some pretty tough situations and he's very resourceful."

Next, Pam moved on to the drain in Starsky's chest.

_**"OK, David. Next is this drain in your chest. I have to fiddle with it and there will be some pressure and pain but trust me, I'll get it done as fast as possible."**_

Pam deftly worked at the drain. Hutch was so impressed at the care she took to be as gentle as possible. He got up and moved to the window and stared out for a minute before he turned around to speak to Pam.

"Pam, thank you so much for the care you are giving to Starsky. You and Sheila treat him like a human being, an individual, not just a body in a bed. You always talk to him like he can here you. But so do I. I just have to hold on and think somewhere inside him, he understands some of what is going on."

Pam finished with the drain and moved on to inspect the IV solutions and flashed Hutch one of her own smiles.

"Hutch, David is as alive as you or me. He just can't reach out to us yet. He has to figure out a way back to us, but I believe that he can hear and feel but just can't respond. I always try to remember that the person in the bed is someone's friend or loved one. I don't want David to feel alone. I want him to know I care. When he wakes up I'll still be as gentle and as respectful as I am now. Although it sounds like I'll have a real charater on my hands at that point!"

_**"Honey, sorry, but now I have to poke at your shoulder and I know that's not gonna be pleasant. But then I'm done."**_

As she removed the dressing from the shoulder area and pressed around the incision, the blood pressure monitor began to make a loud dinging noise. Pam looked up at the reading and patted Starsky's head.

"There, you see Hutch, that's proof right there that somewhere behind those eyelids there's knowledge and recognition. I've been working on him for awhile and I think the blood pressure monitor is telling me he has about reached his limit! The blood pressure numbers have risen and the machine is set to ring an alarm if it goes higher than the last reading."

_**"David, hold on just a little more. I know you're fed up with me but be patient a little longer!"**_

When the alarm went off, Hutch jumped out of the chair and moved over to the bed to find out what was wrong. With Pam's explanation, he moved to the other side so he could hold Starsky's hand.

"Pam is just doing her job, buddy. I'm here. Feel me squeezing your hand again? How about sqeezing it back? Hey, I know you're in there! No more being lazy!"

Hutch crossed the room back to the recliner and eased his body back down in it. He yawned and streched his neck to work out some of the tension in his shoulders.

"Pam, I just wish he'd squeeze my hand again like he did the other day. I'm scared that means he's lost ground and is going backwards instead of improving. But you just pointed out that the blood pressure reading increased because of what you were doing. So I guess that's good right?"

"Hutch, I know this is frustrating. David is struggling to come back to us and you've got to stay positive. He uses up a lot of energy with these little signs he's throwing at us. Just give it time and soon he'll be able to break out of what's holding on to him and he'll come around."

Pam went over to stand by Hutch and rubbed the blond man's shoulder as a gesture of comfort but also to provide a light massage.

Hutch leaned back in the chair and looked up at the friendly eyes staring back at him.

"Thanks so much. I do get frustrated. I just really miss him."


	4. Chapter 4

Starsky was not aware of the activity surrounding him nor of the noises of the many machines and monitors .

Starsky was suspended in a dense fog but his body felt weighted down. He couldn't move and didn't understand the reason. He called out for help but his voice bounced back to him. He was alone.

Occasionally flashes of people or colors would pass in front of him only to break apart and scatter like pixie dust. He struggled against the void but had no power over it. Once there was a warmth that reached out and covered him. He wanted so badly for that to continue but again he couldn't hold on to it or identify what it was.

He called out again, **_"HUTCH, HELP ME!!"_** His voice sounded so loud and the words echoed around him. Again, it was not answered. He needed to reach out and let someone know he was still here.

Gradually there seemed to be spaces when the fog receded but it did not last long. He had no perception of his body. He didn't know what was up or down. But when the fog would lift he could tell there was more to him. Something was still holding on to him. He was still alone.

Flashes of pain would hit him now but he couldn't move away from it. He felt the burning and stabbing in his soul but he felt something else. He longed to be part of himself again. There was no time or space.

Like ripples in the water, something would touch him but when or where it had originated was not something he could comprehend.

A warmth seeped into him and he knew he wanted it to continue. Something was different. The fog lifted more and with it came a new feeling. He felt pressure. It was not unpleasant but he could not place where that pressure was.

Then there was something else. Scratchy. Something was rubbing against him like sandpaper and he tried to move away from it. The sensation continued but was followed by the warm pressure again. The roughness scared him. The things he was feeling were all so different.

Suddenly, the warm pressure grew more insistent and he knew he wanted to answer back somehow. Unexpectedly, his body exploded into thousands of nerve endings and he was being assalted by so many different things that he was terrified.

_**"HUTCH--- HELP"**_

He identified a soft pressure again and somehow knew that it was Hutch. He struggled with the energy that worked against him. In his mind he heard himself cry out at the pain and confusion.

He focused on the steady pressure and now knew Hutch was holding and sqeezing his hand. He forced himself to put all his new found energy into that one area of his existence. He was terrified to let that feeling disappear. He fought whatever it was that still seemed to restrain him.

Suddenly his hand sprung free from the mire holding him down and his hand convulsed into a continuous pattern as he tried to communicate that he was alive!

The waves upon the water reached to touch the shore and deposited Starsky's soul to begin his battle.

"**_HUTCH!_**


	5. Chapter 5

The little positive signs occurred randomly. Hutch bargained, pleaded and wished for any indication that his friend was on his way back. It was hard to be positive and he started to feel lost and lonely.

Dr. Sheffield was encouraged by the effort Starsky's body was making to regain contol over vital functions. He assured Hutch that it would not be long until Starsky would respond with more energy and would be off the ventilator in the next few days.

Hutch wanted so badly to feel that pressure in his hand again. Although he was afraid for his friend, Hutch was convinced that Starsky could battle and recover from this terrible nightmare.

Hutch was more reluctant now than before to leave Starsky for any length of time. He did not want Starsky to be alone when he first opened his eyes. He kept up a one sided conversation with the dark haired man. He promised Starsky that he would be with him and help him to overcome the inevitable battle he would face.

"C'mon buddy-- we can do this. Me and Thee. I'm right here. Right now there's a lot of machines and tubes but don't be scared." Hutch continued his monologue.

After awhile, Hutch sat back in the recliner and rested his eyes. He didn't want to sleep, he just needed to relax. He needed to center himself. He felt very restless and the ever present knot in his stomach took a few more hits at his belly.

He felt himself drifting and was surrounded by fog. He could not see but something was happening. The fog lifted and he heard a voice.

_**"HUTCH!"**_

---"Starsky!!"----, Hutch's body convulsed and he called out in answer to his friend.

Hutch's body jerked as if in response to an unexpected loud clamor. He was startled into movement but felt very confused. His vision scanned the familar room but nothing had changed. The machines still clicked, whooshed and beeped and there was no one else in the room but himself and the still form in the bed.

Hutch kept searching around him for something until he realized that he had heard Starsky call out to him. Starsky's voice had awakened him. Starsky needed him.

He got up to move closer to the bed. Hutch took the lax hand in his and tried again to convince Starsky to squeeze his hand.

"C'mon Gordo. I heard you. You want to wake up. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Squeeze my hand back. I know you can do it."

Hutch almost missed the gentle change in pressure in his hand but it gradually grew stronger until the pressure seemed to be pulsing with a secret signal.

"Ya Hoo--- you did it Starsk!" Hutch chortled with glee as he repeatedly pressed the call button next to the bed.

Pam heard Hutch hollering even before the steady signal sounded from the call box.

She hurried into David's room, not sure what to expect.

"Hutch, what's wrong! I heard you before----"

Hutch did a happy dance beside his friend's bed but did not let go of the hand he held.

Pam moved closer to the dark haired man and checked his pulse which was steadier and stronger than it had been. The machines changed their rhythm, agreeing that something good was going on.

"Hutch, listen to me. He's waking up but he's going to be very confused at first. I know how excited you are but you need to help me now. I have to go page Dr. Sheffield. Don't let go of his hand. Keep talking to him." Pam spoke quickly but made sure Hutch had understood her.

"Go find the doc, I'm not going anywhere!---C'mon buddy, keep trying. Open those blue eyes. I'm right here." Hutch coached the still man in the bed. The hand Hutch held had stopped it's pattern. Hutch held his breath waiting---

"C'mon, don't stop now"

Starsky's hand took up it's pattern of sqeezing again. For Hutch this was one of many sweet rewards.


	6. Chapter 6

Dr. Sheffield led a parade of technicians and nurses into the room, all with the sole purpose of guiding Starsky's transition into consciousness. Hutch refused to give up his position to anyone and he stood his ground beside Starsky.

Dr. Sheffield acknowledge Hutch with a vague nod in his direction and made one terse speech as he examined Starsky.

"Ken, you can stay but keep at the head of the bed. As long as you don't interfere, stay right where you are and keep talking to him. By the way,----this is Dr. Brooks, he'll be in charge of David's rehab from now on."

Dr. Sheffield absently pointed his head at the shorter man with sandy colored hair.

"Ken, we'll talk more later but glad to meet you. Let's get David back with us now, what do you say?", Dr. Brooks smiled at Hutch and went back to concentrating on the monitors around the bed.

"Starsky, open your eyes now. All these people are here to help. C'mon babe I know you want to!", Hutch pleaded and stroked the dark curls of his friend.

Just then the heart monitor let out a repeated beeping which set the doctors to examine Starsky closer. There was a slight movement on the bed, not a seizure but more like a shiver. Dr. Brooks read out numbers to the crowd around Starsky and Dr. Sheffield bent low over the bed to speak to the occupant.

"David, concentrate now. Open your eyes. I know you feel like you've got a hose down your throat but don't fight it."

Dr.Sheffield lifted the closed lids and shined his pen light into the dark eyes. Once more Starsky seemed to shiver but this time after Dr. Sheffield removed the annoying light, Starsky's eyes remained open. They grew wide with fright and a single tear traced a path down his cheek.

"Starsky, I'm here! It's Hutch babe, c'mon, stay with me!, Hutch pleaded as he stared into the eyes almost black with panic.

The blood pressure gage and heart monitor ceased their endless chatter with each other and leveled off to a more steady beeping.

Starsky managed to keep his eyes open and he focused on the familair face above him. His eyes lost some of the misty confusion as he recognized his blond friend.

Satisfied that Starsky was making steady progress, Dr. Sheffield moved to study the readings given off by the heart monitor. He motioned to Dr. Brooks who went over to the other doctor to confer.

Dr. Sheffield shared his thoughts out loud as he continued studying the out put in front of him.

"See, his heart rate is steadier now and his blood pressure is more normal. All of this is good. His color is better and he obviously responded to Ken. Sheila, record his blood pressure every 15 minutes. The most critical time has past. He obviously recognized Ken and can understand what he hears.

Dr. Sheffield turned around and massaged his neck with his hand. He fixed Hutch with a tired glance and offered him support.

"David is doing fine. Your presence kept him from severe panic. But for awhile, everytime he wakes up he'll have to be reminded of his situation. Until we can get that ventilator removed, it will be very frustrating for him not to be able to communicate."

Next, Dr. Brooks turned from his review of the monitors and bent over Starsky. He first felt his pulse, then he reached for his hand and felt the warmth already seeping back into David's body.

Starsky's eyes had closed again but when Dr. Brooks picked up David's hand, the sapphire eyes fluttered open and locked eyes with the man above him. Dr. Brooks covered David's hand in both of his and bent low and spoke directly to David.

"David, I'm Dr. Brooks. I know you're scared right now. There's a lot you don't understand. I can't do much about the pain and discomfort yet but once you're more with it we can get rid of this ventilator."

At the sound of the comforting voice, Starsky's eyes grew moist but he fixed his cloudy eyes on Dr. Brooks as he continued speaking.

"Good, David. You hear my voice. Keep working with me. I know it's hard to concentrate but just look at me. Ken is here too."

At the mention of his friend's name, Starsky's eyes rolled to the left as he found his blond friend. Hutch reached out and waved his hand through Starsky's dark hair. Starsky's eyes closed again but opened immediately. Hutch was rewarded with a frightened but trusting stare before the pale lids once again closed.

Dr. Brooks was pleased with the recognition Starsky had and his ability to remain focused.

For the rest of the day, Starsky remained asleep but could be aroused if Hutch called his name. He couldn't stay awake long but each time his eyes opened, there was less confusion clouding his vision.

-------

Two days later the ventilator was removed. Starsky struggled to speak but his voice was gone. His throat was dry and brittle from the machine and he could not force even a small whisper to pass between his lips.

Starsky wasn't awake for very long but occasionally would be able to manage an ice chip. Hutch was more than happy to be able to do something for Starsky. Each time he woke up, Hutch was there to reasure his friend. Sometimes Hutch would sing or hum if Starsky seemed agitated.

Huggy came by several times with food for Hutch and stayed with his friends and tried to keep Starsky included in the conversation although more often than not, Starsky was asleep.

"Hutch, why don't ya go for a walk outside for a little. I'll stay here with my curly friend. Just get outside for a few minutes.", Huggy suggested to a yawning Hutch.

"Hug, good idea! I need to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. If Starsk wakes up, you know what to tell him."

Hutch stood up and on his way past Starsky, he laid a comforting hand on the dark haired man's shoulder.

"Starsky, my man, there goes one cool dude. We're both lucky to call him friend."

Huggy moved his chair closer to Starsky and read a comic book out loud to the man in the bed. Huggy used funny voices and described the characters as he read from the magazine.

Huggy read a few pages until Starsky's phone rang and Huggy picked it up.

"Curly's room, Huggy speaking!" Huggy offered in greeting.

"Oh Mrs. S! --- Rachel? okay Rachel it is! Yeah, Hutch just went out for a bit.--- No--- Yeah David is doing better. He wakes up now and then--- sure, just a sec."

Huggy cradled the phone against Starsky's jaw so that his mother could talk to her son. After about a minute, Starsky opened his eyes and was able to croak out a single word.

"Ma!!"

With that, his eyes closed again and his head dropped further onto the pillow.

Huggy took the phone and spoke again to Rachel.

"You here that ma'am? His first words were for his momma! --I know, joy for your boy! No, it's cool, it's gotta be rough not bein' near your son--- yes,-- sure--- But I'm afraid that took every bit of energy he had, he's out of it again-- Yeah, I'll be here till Hutch comes back. Not leavin' the curly one alone.--- when? Next week?--- okay, call again when you have your flight time.--nothn' doin'--- Hutch or me will pick ya up at the airport---- Just don't even think about rentin' a car! Starsky needs his momma now. Hutch'll call you later-- you too! ----bye"

Huggy hung up the phone and reached out for his friend.

"Starsky, you made your mother's day. She's comin' to be with ya. Every man needs his momma sometimes. You're a lucky man."

When Hutch returned, Huggy filled him in about the conversation with Rachel and Starsky's one word response.

"Huggy, he's really gonna make it. I didn't believe it at first but damn he's really struggling. I'm glad Rachel's coming. She'll be good for Starsky." Hutch paced the room and stopped with his back to the window.

"Never any doubt my friend! Starsky's too stubborn to give up without a fight. I'm here to do anythin', any time. Just use me!" Huggy stood up and moved over to Hutch and shook his hand as he made his good bye.

"Don't forget call Mrs. Stars--uh Rachel. I'll be back in a coupla days unless you call the Bear before that!"

Huggy crossed back to Starsky and took the warm hand in his. Starsky's eyes fluttered open. He blinked once, then again. Huggy patted his friend and moved on out the door.

"Starsky, your mom's coming. I know that will help both of you. Don't worry, I won't let her over do it but you know how your mom is. She's got to lay her own blue eyes on you. She'll take over the 'mother hen' routine for awhile." As Hutch spoke, Starsky's eyes fluttered open again and remained open while Hutch was speaking.

A groan and wimper escaped Starsky's lips and Hutch hurried to comfort his friend. Starsky struggled to speak past the dryness in his throat. Hutch bent lower toward the dark haired man just in time to catch Starsky's whispered words.

"mother hen, ma or you---both good!"

The sweet reward of Starsky's words washed over Hutch as he clutched Starsky to him.


	7. Chapter 7

Two months after the near fatal shooting, Starsky was making steady progress. Slowly, the machines were turned off and moved out of his room. Starsky stayed awake for longer periods of time and was able to carry on short conversations. As the weeks passed Starsky would have days where he talked a lot to Hutch or the nurses that were in and out of his room. There were other days that he was so weak and tired, that he could barely get two words out. The pain would consume him then and he would lay in bed in a fetal position unable to push himself out of the blackness he felt surrounding him. Despite all this, the doctors and nurses reasured Hutch and Starsky that he was making slow but steady progress.

According to Dr. Brooks, Starsky was improving greatly. Each small step was a tribute to Starsky's will power and resolve to over come the trauma. Hutch was excited as well to see his friend healing but Starsky didn't see any of this as progress.

"You call, puking my guts out all the time and not sleeping progress? I still can't get out of bed and if I sit up for too long, I get dizzy and throw up." Starsky glowered at Hutch and growled another tirade in the blond's direction.

"Just shut the hell up! I know what you're gonna say and I'm not in the mood for your pep talk!"

Ignoring this outburst, Hutch sighed and answered instead,

"Starsk, three weeks ago you couldn't talk. You got rid of the ventilator and the monitors. Yesterday they took away the chest drain and you don't have any kind of infection. So you shut the hell up and stop being so NEGATIVE!"

Hutch sat forward in the recliner and rested his elbows on the arms of the chair. He gave Starsky a serious frown and then stuck out his tongue.

It was just the release Starsky needed to take his mind off his predicament. He chuckled ,which only produced another twitch in his belly. But Hutch's sense of humor jump started his own and he was able to relax and let Hutch divert his attention.

One thing even a sense of humor could not touch though was the unchanging power of the pain that at times completely overtook Starsky's resolve.

Pain was a constant reminder of what had happened to him. There was a perpetual sharp progression of twitches, pinching and hard, stabbing pains which increased with any activity. Starsky struggled to accomplish more on his own but would be struck with sudden, knife edged pains. If he moved a certain way, pain would shoot through his shoulder and chest, causing Starsky to break out in a cold sweat.

The pain medications that constantly dripped into his arm seemed to deaden certain areas rather than provide overall relief and left a dull edge to his senses most of the time. At most, he'd sleep fitfully for three hours then be awake until another round of the IV drip was due.

Later, as his stomach healed and he progressed from all liquids to soft food, the doctor tried to include pill forms of pain relievers but his stomach could not tolerate them and would be brought up along with any food Starsky had tried to eat.

In the beginning even Jello made a come back. Starsky enjoyed the cooling feel as the Jello would slide down his throat. His throat was still scratchy and the Jello went down easily enough but often it too would come back up and add to the scratchy, metalic feeling in his mouth and throat.

Hutch checked with the doctor and received the go ahead to mix up one of his protein shakes. Hutch added banana flavored gelatin hoping to entice Starsky's taste buds.

"Starsky just try it. You need the energy. Sip it slow and let your stomach get used to it."

Starsky winced as another round of pain shot through his chest and shoulder. He couldn't seem to find a comfortable position that day and everything,-- including talking-- hurt.

"Just leave it beside the bed. I don't have the energy even to look at it. --- Aw shit, here comes that blood sucking creature again!"

Starsky curled into himself as the wave of pain intensified and offered the lab tech a sour glare.

"Sorry, sir, but got a job to do here. I can be done in a flash if ya just trust me."

"That's what they all say---trust them!" Starsky moaned to himself as the lab tech set up his tubes and rubber tie.

After the blood draw was completed, Starsky rested against the mattress and his eyes slid closed.

In his mind Starsky reviewed his life for the past two months. The first thing he remembered was the panic at not being able to move or talk. But his first glimpse of Hutch hovering over him helped with the rising terror which had threatened to drown him. Hutch had told him some about the shooting and that James Marshall Gunther was at the center of the attack. Hutch had been in court several times and the man and his cronies eventually were behind bars.

Following the initial surgery, Starsky had endured two more. Once the doctors determined that he was strong enough to withstand further repair work, his shoulder and arm muscles were repaired. The surgery on his chest was a little more extensive because it focused on the lung and heart damage.

Each time the aftermath of the surgery would push Starsky a little further back in his recovery. However, with Hutch and his other friends around, Starsky battled back and kept on pushing himself to do more.

The dark haired man's thoughts were interrupted by another assault of shooting pains. His left arm and shoulder gave him the most trouble and Starsky did not have much function there. He opened his eyes, focused on the blue ones in front of him and found the strength there that he lacked.

--------

The following day Starsky endured another session of endless dressing changes and wound evaluations. Sheila did her best to try to keep Starsky's mind off what she was doing by relating the newest escapades of her 5 year old little boy.

"David, you wouldn't believe how fast that kid is. He climbed that tree faster than any monkey could." Sheila gently pulled at the gauze which was stuck to the wounds on Starsky's chest. She applied some water to try to loosen it as she went but even that couldn't contain the moan that escaped from Starsky.

"Damn, Sheila, nothing personal but I really hate you!-- Uhh- just wait--" Starsky pleaded.

Starsky tried to ride the pain out but when the wound was fully exposed he let out another growl. The pain radiated down and around his chest and belly and grew hot as Sheila cleaned it and wiped away the dead skin and fluid from the area.

"Anyway, Sam climbed that tree then he was scared to come down! His dad had to get a ladder. My husband hates heights but he was a good dad and climbed that ladder and they both got down in one piece."

Sheila continued examining the wounds on Starsky's chest. It was important that all wounds be kept clean. The dead skin needed to be sloughed off and any fluid that seeped out needed to be checked for infection. It was a long and painful process but this time Starsky tried to joke with Sheila about her actions.

"Honey, if ya want to oggle, you surley could find someone in better condition to enjoy!"

"David you're nuts! You are so bad! I know this hurts but I can't rush through any of this.---Did I tell you about the mess my dog got into the other day? He was in the woods and got sprayed by a skunk!--" Sheila continued with her story as she worked at the wounds.

Starsky tried to concentrate on her words and not the needles of pain that made his breath catch in his chest.

Sheila finally left David alone but awhile later a new nurse came into Starsky's room.

"Hi David. My name is Gretchen. I'm your rehab nurse. You aren't going to like me at first but that's okay. I just wanted to get that out in the open.!"

"Gretchen I don't like a lot of people right now. But as long as you can put up with my crappy attitude, I can handle anything you dish out. Besides, if you mean your gonna get me out of this bed, let's do it!"

Gretchen had long strawberry colored hair and faint freckles dotted across her nose and cheeks. She had a warm smile that reached her green eyes.

"You and I will be together until you are released from the hospital and probably after you go home too. It's important that you know where I'm coming from. I expect you to work hard but I won't push you beyond what you can comfortably accomplish. In the beginning your pain will probably increase but as you get stronger and move around more, you'll be able to control it and it will decrease. You just have to trust me."

"Terrific, someone else who says 'trust me' just before they torture me! But okay, what choice do I have. I hate this shit! I want my life back"

Suddenly Starsky's emotions over took him and he covered his face with his hands as sobs tore through his body. He couln't stop the flow and grew embarrased at appearing weak in front of someone he didn't know.

Gretchen stood for a moment before she reached out to grab Starsky's hand. As she held his hand, Starsky's tears slowed down and he looked up in embarrasement.

"Sorry, don't know why that happened. But this is the thing I hate most. I feel so lousy and it doesn't take much to either make me break down and cry or fly off the handle at somebody." Starsky flashed a droopy smile and sniffed as he tried to control his emotions.

"David, you've been through an awful lot in a few months. Your body is a mess trying to sort out everything it's experiencing. That means your nerves are as tender and exposed as your wounds. Just don't ever be embarrased with me. Now it looks like Sheila's back so I'll leave for now but I'll be back tomorrow. We'll try to at least let you dangle your legs over the side of the bed. Deal?"

Starsky smiled through moist eyes and responded sincerely,

"Deal! I'm ready to move!"

----------

Starsky anticipated with joy the day his mother would come. At first he didn't want her to make the long journey but she could not be talked out of her decision.

The day Rachel Starsky arrived she swept into her son's room overflowing with motherly love, hugs and kisses. Rachel moved into her son's apartment and took up housekeeping. She even made her secret chicken soup recipe and tempted her son with the broth. She offered strength and support that only a mother can provide. The special bond between mother and son rallied Starsky's spirit. He was glad she was there but worried that she would not take care of herself.

Starsky was pleased to have his mother with him but at first was embarrased that he was so helpless in front of her.

"David, I took care of you when you were little and now it's time for me to be a mother again. You just do what all these good people tell you to do and let me enjoy being your mother and you'll be on your feet in no time."

Hutch watched as the two hugged and he noticed the look of love that passed between them. Rachel patted Starsky's cheek and kissed his forehead. Soon, Rachel turned to Hutch and evaluated the blond friend.

"Hutch, you need mothering as well. I need to fatten you both up! Just count on me and let me help with David's care. My mother's instinct tells me something good will come out of all this pain."

As she spoke, Rachel went around the room and put it to order. She rearranged the bedside table and the over the bed tray so that everything David needed was close by. Then she changed the water in the bouquet of flowers that Minnie had sent. She gathered up all the get well cards and went in search of thumb tacks and tape so she could decorate the dreary hospital room with the cheerful cards.

Starsky chuckled as his mother took over. He looked over at Hutch and the two exchanged knowing smiles and just let the woman enjoy her tasks.

For Starsky, this was the sweetest reward yet. He had his mother, his best friend and for the first time in days, felt like he could handle whatever came his way.


	8. Chapter 8

Rachel Starsky had taken it upon herself to provide her own brand of motherly advice to anyone who came in contact with her son. She listened as Sheila talked about her little boy, Sam, and offered her suggestions about how to keep an active boy busy and focused.

"After all Sheila, my David was just like your Sam. David was all over the place and I had to think up things all the time to keep him occupied."

At that moment Sheila was changing the dressing on Starsky's back and he was facing away from his mother. Sheila let out a small giggle and Starsky answered from over his shoulder,

"Ma enough all ready! Don't make Sheila forget what she's doin' or I'm in trouble here!"

"Shush David, don't talk back to me! Now Sheila, be sure you give Sam plenty of challenges so he won't get bored. David loved to---"

"Ma!"---Starsky pleaded again from over his shoulder.

Rachel laughed and shook her as she got up to look out the window.

She thought back to when David was little and wished that times could still be as easy and safe as they were before her husband had died. She squared her shoulders and shoved the memories out of her head.

Sheila completed her exams and dressing changes and before she moved away from Starsky, she winked at him, sharing a moment of happiness she saw in the sapphire eyes. Sheila smiled and gave a 'thumbs up' sign in recognition of the sparkle that she saw for the first time. Sheila left to record her notes about David's progress in his chart.

"How about some juice, honey?-- or, I know, I'll bet they have applesauce! I'll go get some!" Rachel offered as she ruffled Starsky's hair on her way to the kitchen set up for family members.

During this entire exchange Hutch had been hiding behind the newspaper. He tried to concentrate on what he was reading but was having a hard time not laughing. When Rachel was gone, he put down the paper and grinned at his partner.

"Hutch, don't even say it. I'm glad she's here but I think I'm a little old for her to be tellin' baby stories about!" Starsky moaned good naturedly.

"I wasn't gonna say a thing. I was however waiting for her to tell Sheila about potty training episodes!" Hutch bantered back with the dark haired man.

Hutch was relieved that for the last 1/2 hour, Starsky had been distracted enough from pain and discomfort to be able to enjoy the lighter atmosphere.

Rachel came back with a bowl full of applesauce and placed it on the tray over David's bed.

Starsky attempted to pick up the spoon with his left hand but the hand did not cooperate. He still did not have much use of his preferred left hand and now the act of picking up the spoon sent shooting pains up the arm and into his neck and chest. The spoon plopped back into the bowl.

Starsky closed his eyes against the frustration rising up in him. He let out a slow, deep breath and tried again with his right hand. He reached for the spoon and midway between the bowl and his mouth, his hand trembled, splattering the contents of the spoon over his gown clad chest.

Again, he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on what he was doing. Gretchen had told him if he had a problem with something, he should move past the pain and what he perceived as an obstacle. He should focus on the completed task and actually picture himself doing what it was he had set out to do.

He let out another slow sigh, pictured what the applesauce would taste like and moved the spoon again toward his mouth. This time his hand cooperated even if it did feel awkward.

David gave it his best effort to eat what his mother had brought but after a few spoonfulls he threw the spoon into the bowl which sent bowl and spoon flying off the tray and on to the floor.

"I can't manage more than a few bites of anything before I feel like it's comin' back up. Nothin' even has any taste!--- Sorry ma, it just makes me damn mad!"

Starsky's head fell back against the pillow and he closed his eyes against the rising nausea that threatened to over take him.

"So what's all this clatter going on in here? Somebody having a tantrum?" Gretchen slid into the room and watched as Hutch picked up the abandoned bowl and Rachel went to get a rag to clean up the mess.

"Not now Gretchen. Somebody's always DOING something for me, to me or because of me and I've had it!" Starsky bellowed at Gretchen.

Rachel had come back with the towel but Hutch guided her out of the room, away from Starsky's outburst.

"I told you there'd be times when you'd be sick of everyone including me. But you can do something about what just happened. ---- You can apologize. That way you have control over the emotion that caused the display and you can control how your loved ones feel about what they just witnessed. You can ease their embarrasement."

Gretchen didn't pull any punches with Starsky. She made him be responsible at all times for anything he did. She knew that it was important for Starsky to feel in contol and to realize that there WERE things he could still do. She wanted him to always look at the positive side of things.

Starsky nodded his head and looked to her with understanding in his eyes. He was grateful that she was able to put up with his outbursts and remind him to focus on the things he could do and be positive, even if that was the last thing he wanted sometimes.

"It's okay you two! The tornado has passed with minimal damage!" Starsky hollered in order to bring Hutch and his mother back into the room.

Rachel moved into the room and started cleaning up the forgotten mess. As she finished she turned her attention to Gretchen and waited for an introduction.

"Ma, this is Gretchen. She's my rehab nurse, cheerleader and coach!"

Rachel surveyed the young woman in front of her and spoke in a conspirational tone.

"You have a way with him Gretchen. He used to throw tantrums like that when he was little. The only way to stop them was to make him see what he had done and show him the right way and then he'd smile that lopsided grin and I'd forgive him anything!" Rachel rubbed her hand up and down Starsky's arm affectionately.

Starsky just rolled his eyes and complained,

"Ma, her too? What's with the kiddie stories! Have some compassion here!"

Hutch couldn't stop the burst of giggles this time as he witnessed the dark haired man's embarrasement. To top it all off, both women looked at Starsky like he really was a bad little boy.

"Okay, now back to work David. We lost a little ground because we missed a day but why don't you try sitting on the side of the bed?"

Gretchen encouraged David to move the blankets aside but she also put a smaller lap robe around his middle as he got further up in the bed. She always tried to treat Starsky with dignity and respect with whatever she asked him to do.

Starsky locked his eyes on Gretchen's, looking for the assurance he'd need if he was to follow her commands. It was a scary thing to move out of his comfort zone but he knew this was a positive step leading to bigger accomplishments.

"It's like lookin' down the side of a cliff!" Starsky grew pale as he sat up. He had not yet swung his legs over the bed but he was already shaky with pain and sweat popped out on his forehead.

Hutch moved closer to Gretchen, ready to steady his friend.

"David, just go slow. Sit where you are a minute until you get oriented. Once the dizziness passes, swing your legs out. You'll have pain but think beyond it. Picture yourself sitting on the side of the bed." Gretchen kept her voice low and steady and never took her eyes away from Starsky's face.

"Okay, ready when you are, trust me!" As Gretchen said these words, Starsky gave her a menacing look but followed it up with a weak smile.

Starsky let out a ragged sigh and pushed his lower half out to the side. He winced and grunted but kept moving sideways. With one more shove, he was sitting on the side of the bed with his feet hanging over the side.

Rachel's hands covered her mouth as she stiffled a keening sound. She didn't want to break David's concentration or distract him in anyway. It was truly wonderful to see her son accomplish his task.

"Now, can I get up and walk outta here?", Starsky joked before he wobbled sideways. Hutch was there to catch him as he tottered off balance.

"I think that's enough outta you buddy!" Hutch held Starsky under his elbow but was alarmed at Starsky's heavy breathing and sweaty appearance.

"You're right Hutch. Help me ease him back down.-- David, just let us do all the work--- just relax now." Gretchen spoke evenly as she and Hutch guided Starsky back on the bed.

Starsky let out a relieved, edgy sigh as his head hit the pillow. He closed his eyes to steady his nerves and his racing heart. After a minute he opened his eyes again and a slow satisfied grin spread over his face.

"What a terrific feeling! Scary as hell, but I did it!!" Starsky was glad to share his accomplishment with those around him.

"David that was great! It'll be easier next time and I'll bet in a coupla days you can take a few steps!" Gretchen praised David as she patted the blankets around him.

"Never th--ought I'd be so- 'appy- 'bout sittin' up!" Starsky slurred as he lost the battle to stay awake. The effort of that achievement overtook him and he was soon asleep.

Hutch counted this event as another sweet reward.


	9. Chapter 9

**FYI:** This is the final chapter. I plan a sequel at some point to follow Starsky and Gretchen!

Thanks for reading.

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSSHSHSH

Starsky continued to improve. He had now been in the hospital for three months. Each day for a week one more thing that tethered him to his bed was removed. The catheter that drained his kidneys, however, was still a constant. He was not strong enough yet to get up and out of bed on his own. That was his immediate goal however.

He desperately needed to have privacy and dignity back in his life. Although Pam, Sheila and Gretchen always kept that in mind, his safety was their main concern.

Most of the antibiotics only needed to be hooked up for 12 hour at a time and it was agreed that they could drip into Starsky during the night. The nourishment drip was cut back to every other night since he was able to eat more on his own and he kept most of what he ate down.

Starsky received a major boost to his ego with that first tentative move to the side of the bed. Anything he could do on his own he guarded with delight. Moving to the side of the bed under his own power made him feel he had some control over his space.

Eating was getting easier. His stomach was healing and accepting more foods. His doctor warned him that he might never be able to tolerate spicy or rich foods since there was so much damage involving his stomach. Eating faster than his stomach could digest would produce the wrenching heaves which left Starsky weak and shaky. So he conentrated on eating small amounts but more often. His mother made puddings, soups and even the 'Paul Muni Special' to tempt her son's fickle taste buds.

Gretchen's promise of walking was a long way off. It was a goal for Starsky to work towards. The first time he had stood up, his legs felt rubbery and would not support him. He felt himself collapsing but Gretchen and Hutch were there to get him back down on the bed.

One afternoon Gretchen had spent two hours with Starsky doing physical therapy. Starsky begged to get up and walk so his pleading motivated Gretchen to focus his current therapy routine on strengthening his legs.

"Two-- C'mon David,-- one more!", Gretchen coached the dark haired man. Starsky strained under the pressure of pushing against Grethen's shoulder with his leg as she tried to resist Starsky's movement.

He was sweaty and his mouth was set in a determined line. His eyes were closed against the pain but he forced himself to get one more push of his bent leg.

"That's 2 more than I did yesterday-- Now are you happy?" Starsky gritted the words out of his clenched teeth.

In answer, Gretchen gently guided David's leg back to the bed and gave it a reassuring pat.

"Now the other one. Do the same thing and you can have ice cream after we're done!", Gretchen offered.

Starsky grunted but allowed his left leg to be positioned against Gretchen's shoulder and he pushed with such force that it knocked her off balance.

"Wow, where did that come from Dave? Are you holding out on me with what you can do?" Gretchen was surprised and pleased at the power he had just demonstrated.

"No, it was the promise of ice cream that did it! Now just add a burrito---", Starsky wagged his eyebrows at Gretchen.

"A burrito from The Burrito Barn and you've got a deal!" Gretchen smiled in anticipation of the best burrito in town.

"You know The Burrito Barn? My mouth has been watering for one of those for weeks! Hutch keeps tellin' me they're gonna rot my stomach out but I guess it's almost there anyway sooo----?" Starsky cajoled the green eyed woman in front of him.

"Ice cream yes, burrito-- not yet. Spicy is off your list for awhile until all your medicatons get straightened out. --- A Burrito Barn burrito isn't much good without the hot sauce and onions and hot peppers.---Sorry, but ice cream is all I can offer right now" Gretchen spoke as she guided Starsky's leg back up to her shoulder to finish out the repetitions.

By the time they were done with the leg exercises, Starsky was worn out but still wanted to continue with the other exercises they had started yesterday.

Gretchen didn't want to push Starsky past his frutstration point but this was the first time he had willingly agreed to continue the movements.

She sat in front of Starsky and placed his right hand up against her hand. The idea was for him to push his palm into her palm and try to bend her arm as he pushed into her. Yesterday he managed one of these before his arm gave out and dropped to his side. Today he did two on the right side and even managed one on his left.

Next she tried to get him to make a fist. The right fingers curled into the right palm and flexed back out with little pain. The left one was more of a dissapointment. The upper knuckles only managed to bend under before the strain and pain caused Starsky to grunt in defeat.

"This is the hand and arm I'm really scared about. I'm left handed plus I hold my gun in this hand. Do ya think it'll ever get strong again?" Starsky looked down at his limp appendage before his dark, worried eyes met Gretchen's

"Being a detective is part of who you are isn't Dave? Maybe you'll have to---"

"No friggin way, lady! If you're tryn' to tell me to give up, you don't know me very well." Starsky started to shake with emotion at the thought of giving up what he loved the most. Not working the streets with Hutch was unthinkable.

"David, I didn't say anything about giving up. You might have to depend more on your right arm and hand for awhile. That's all I meant!"

Gretchen reached over and wiped away a tear of frustration that was leaking down the tired face. The green eyes locked with the sapphire ones before Gretchen looked away. She had seen something in those eyes that she couldn't quite place but it left her confused.

Starsky reached out to Gretchen and held her arm for a second before he let go; because of the pain the action caused, not because he wanted to.

----------

Later that day, Rachel kept her son company while Hutch was at the precinct. There were some last minute reports to file before final sentencing of Gunther and his hit men. Captain Dobey and Hutch had worked hard to get a swift conviction and these attempts to put off the inevitable life sentence motivated the men to make sure everything was in place and nothing could be thrown out.

Starsky was enjoying a change of scenery. He was finally able to sit somewhere other than in bed all the time. He still couldn't get to the recliner on his own or even get up from the sitting position but just the change from the bed was a welcome diversion.

"David, tell me about Gretchen? Do you like her?", Rachel inquired, thinking about something that she was not yet ready to act on.

David didn't catch the subtle lift of his mother's eyebrow. His answer was more serious.

"She has really helped me overcome a lot. My exercises are going well. It hurts like hell before,during and after but I can see the muscles again in my legs and arms."

"So you trust her dear?", Rachel questioned further.

"Ya, I guess I have no choice. If I want to get outta here, I have to do what she wants. She keeps tellin' me how good I'm doin'", Starsky yawned. He watched his mother as she knit with a dark blue yarn.

"But, do you like her? Do you have anything in common? What about---"

Before Rachel finished the sentence Starsky blinked as he finally understood what his mother was getting at and he stopped the rest of her sentence with an upraised hand and scolded her.

"Ma!!-- you can't be serious.! I'm half a man here. Believe me, that's the last thing on my mind. And to her I'm just another patient. Just leave your matchmaking out of this!"

Starsky shook his head and glared at his mother.

Rachel continued the clicking of her needles as she flashed her son a knowing smile.

"I think you protest too much! You're still a very handsome young man and there's no reason the two of you can't get together. Just wait!"

Starsky pushed the nurse call button in frustration. He wanted to get back to bed so he could tune his mother out for awhile. Sometimes she was just too much. Maybe it was time for her to go home!

--------

The next day Rachel hung out in the hall to wait for Gretchen. She decided she wanted to talk to the woman before she started the session with her son.

As Gretchen appeared down the hall, Rachel walked to greet her and asked to speak to Gretchen in the visitors lounge.

Gretchen and Rachel sat across from each other at the round table littered with old magazines. The cleaning instinct kicked in and Rachel started putting the magazines in neat stacks while she engaged in a friendly conversation with the woman in front of her.

"I hope you don't mind, I just want to hear from you about how my son is doing. I just didn't want him to know I was talking about him without his permission. Sometimes he gets so defensive!" Rachel stopped fiddling with the magazines and smiled back at the green eyes.

"No Mrs. Starsky, it's okay. David is doing very well. He's getting stronger all the time and I really think he'll be going home next month."

"Dear, just call me Rachel. Even Hutch calls me Rachel! But David gets so depressed. Do you think that will improve once he gets out of here"

"Okay--- Rachel--- Yes he needs to be surrounded by familiar things now. Three months in a hospital is not fun for anybody. But he has so much energy again that he will do even better in his own home. He might have to make some modifications----"

"But Gretchen, what about being with friends, dating--- do you think he's ready? He has so much to offer a woman. I'm sure you would love to find out about David the man, rather than David the patient?" Rachel smiled again and patted Gretchen's hand.

Gretchen cleared her throat and wondered how to get out of this without offending the sweet woman.

"Well, yes, I would like to know about the individual. But I'll share a secret with you. I'm not supposed to get involved with my patients but who knows what might happen once he's completely discharged from my care!", Gretchen winked and shared a smile with the older woman.

With that, Rachel laughed, stood up and waved good bye as she made her way to the cafeteria.

Back in Starsky's room, Gretchen joined David and laughed to herself about the conversation she just had.

The rest of the day was spent exercising legs, arms and Starsky even managed to stand on his own for a minute. This was the first time he had been able to stand alone without any support.

"Whew--- you were a slave driver today, Gretchen. I'm done in. Could you get me some water?" David asked as he sank back into the mattress.

Gretchen went to the visitor's lounge to fill the pitcher with water and brought back some pudding for them both to enjoy.

"Here, you deserve a break and a treat. You are doing wonderful David." She handed Starsky the cup of pudding and stared at the crinkled, smiling face in front of her.

"David, you shouldn't look at me like that. You're getting to be a dangerous fellow to be around."

"Stick with me sweetheart--- we can go places!" Starsky wagged his eyebrows at her.

The two people sat in an easy silence. Gretchen thought of her conversation with Rachel. She looked over at the child like face in front of her. Starsky was obviously enjoying the pudding. She wondered about his recovery and if he could be satisfied if he never got back to 100 of what he had been.

Starsky licked his lips as he scraped the rest of the pudding out of the container. He thought about his conversation with his mother regarding Gretchen. He thought his mother was just meddling but--- well who knows? A woman who knows about The Burrito Barn can't be all bad! Maybe he could find out more about her in the coming weeks.

Life is full of sweet rewards and when you're David Starsky, there's a never ending supply to anticipate.


End file.
